Tuesday, March 24, 2015



We've all heard that saying before, "You can't expect different results, if you keep doing the same things." Pretty self explanatory. One cannot achieve a different outcome if we keep practicing the same routine, keep doing the same process, or making the same decisions. I can tell you, on a honest and personal note (cause this is a personal blog after all) that I am the least disciplined person around. I start things and don't finish them, give up halfway through, and don't give the process a chance because my anxious self doesn't see immediate results. I've struggled with this for a while now, not fully grasping the root of why I can't follow through with something. Granted, motivation I have, ideas and plans overflow, action and passing the starting line is a-ok, it's just keeping the wheels moving that I have some trouble with. I've taken several personal development courses over the past year that were designated to help me with this very problem. Although they have greatly helped me in the areas of "coming out of my shell", "assertiveness", and "not giving a fuck what people think", I still have some struggles when it comes to actually following through with proposed plans. I must give myself some credit, I have become better at sticking through with my goals for a longer period of time, and putting them into action sooner rather than later. So what is the point of me writing this? That I have learned that it is habit that keeps you going.

Habits are everything.

Habits are the everyday decisions that one makes that determines the big pictures. Habits are the slight paint strokes on a canvas that lead to either a wonderful masterpiece or "full on Monet". Habits are the small steps that appear insignificant, but are actually the reason you get to where you get. It's not motivation, it's not willpower, it's habits. Habits powered by that willpower and motivation, established and done on a repeated basis.

I am excited to be starting this new exciting stage in my life where I will be dedicating myself, full force, to achieving a few goals that I've been wanting to do for some time. More than anything however, I am working on my overall discipline and consistency, to keep a habit ongoing and to pack down a routine, taking steps towards those things that I want to achieve. I'm putting myself on the record here, that I am giving my 100% to this new phase, being consistent and forward with everything I do.
HABITS, HABITS, HABITS. Not always a bad thing.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

You Are The Universe

That phrase..."You Are The Universe." Sounds so cliché, so used, and so vaguely understood amongst its thousands of repined images representing itself.
You are the universe.
Does that even make sense?
Like many, I liked the statement, reminded myself of it every once in a while and would sometimes scribble it on pages containing daily thoughts and mantras.
You are the universe.
No matter how many times I recited said declaration, the thought of conjoining the universe and myself into one seemed so out of reach. No matter how many times I allowed myself to immerse both beings into one, I could not. The universe always seemed as this vast tunnel of spiraling galaxies, stars, and colors. One that was intangible, unreachable in a sense, basing myself on Hubble telescope synopses and transmissions sent through man made equipment susceptible to fallacies of all kinds. A black hole represented in textbooks as a child and a series of calculated words as an adult.
But the more that I heard it, the more it resonated...the more I wanted to understand it. I took spiritual courses, read meditation books, surfed Buddhist blogs, and New Agey forums. 'There must be some kind of explanation there' I thought, some kind of wording turned into epiphany form that my brain could process! But the more I read, the more I surfed, the more I pondered, the further away I was. In fact, in one of the spiritual courses that I took, the teacher explained how we were part of the universe in such a magnificent way that I was in awe at how it could be and felt in a way that I was starting to get it. However, something within me still wasn't clicking, something within me still didn't fully understand the message;
YOU are the universe.
You as in I
You as in Me
My mind was still creating lines of division, still creating some sort of separation.
Until one day, when I was staffing a personal development course, I sat there with my translation device in one ear, in silence, meditating, asking for the Supreme Being to give me the ability to be used as a vessel for interpreting the message being spoken when it hit me.
You are the plants and the trees that sway with the breeze
You are the waves of the ocean and tops of the mountains
You are the earth and the soil which you walk on and you worship
You are the stars of the sky, the sun and the moon
Like a never ending circle, we are all one.
It was one of the most wondrous experience that has ever happened to me. It was unique and its own.
It was that supreme being letting me know that I was not any different than the earth or the sky because I AM the air and the soil. We all are the stardust that make up this universe, in a never ending cycle of existence. That is why when we give love, we receive love, because we are giving it to ourselves! That is why we receive what we give, because we are everything,  and everything is us!
Its so majestic that I cannot even put it into words, the way that it feels when I think about it. The way that my heart starts to beat knowing that I am this wonderful earth that I so passionately love.
I cannot love myself and hate another. Love is equal on all parts.
Knowing this truth is so amazing, knowing that I can love everyone without reason is powerful.
Knowing that every single person, regardless of what the label that this world has placed on them, is equal and is just as amazing as the next is incredible.
Practicing this truth has allowed me to better understand others, to love them for who they are, and to accept them for the marvelous being they were created as. I find myself learning from people, giving them my undivided attention, setting prejudgments aside because in the end
We are all part of this insane and majestic and powerful universe and it fills my heart knowing that I understand this to a certain degree.
Remember, YOU  are the Universe. The wholehearted, passionate, self creating, amazing, wonderous UNIVERSE.
<3 Stef