Monday, February 2, 2015

Friendventory

On a San Diego trip to Potato Chip Rock. One of my most favoritest of excursions.

As I mature and get older, I realize the value of true friends and friendship, and how rarely it gives itself. I recently read an article on "friendventorys" and how to correctly cut people out of your life that don't necessarily do you any good. A lot of the times, out of guilt, we keep people that bring us feelings of negativity and angst not realizing that this not only harms the other person but us as well. I was one of those people. Always feeling some sort of obligation to those people that were in my life, feeling guilty if I stopped talking to them or no longer wanted them to be a part of my life. I had a VERY difficult time detaching myself from a former toxic friend and still worked on this issue after. While reading this article, I scrolled down to the comments and this one in particular caught my eye. It resonated very deeply with a current situation that I am going through and gave me some of that peace that my doubt was needing.

From commenter Anna:
I have a really good friend who constantly tells me: "When you have had enough of your bullshit, you will give it up" and another tells me, "Pick a flavor and be that flavor." The best way for me to cut the strings of toxicity from my life is to take my own inventory and ask myself the hard questions and face the merciless truth: am I harming or helping? If I am harming, I have to let go, despite the voice in my head saying, "You just gave up on that person". 99.99% of the time I am in the way of healing. I cannot be everything to everyone in my life. Not all relationships are meant to last a life time. I have to figure out the difference between seasonal friendships and rooted friendships.
When I picked the flavor I want to be, I was amazed how my life changed. I gravitated toward people of the same flavor, and I attracted authentic people. Now instead of having a ton of acquaintances, I have genuine relationships that weather any storm. We have a common goal and help each other.

I have a big heart, an open heart. I also built a big fucking fence around it and choose wisely.

Thanks Anna, wherever you are, just know your words were received greatly and warmly by my heart.
 
I also really like this video by Elliott Hulse, good stuff yo.
 
So do not fret when leaving old friends behind. As someone once told me, nothing last forever, everything has an expiration date....and that is okay.
 
Stef

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