So as you might already know, God is pretty rad. He has been so good to me throughout all these years. Showing me his grace and mercy when my not so perfect ways seem to get a hold of me. Through the windstorms and confusion of life, I can always seek refuge in his son and peace in his promises. His timing is always perfect and even though i understand that now, I know that sometimes its hard for us to grasp this concept. We want it NOW on our own terms, wanting things on OUR time. Not really wondering if its in accord with God's plan. He's shown me in so many ways however, that
HIS timing is indeed perfection.
For example; my last job? It was true misery. I hated it. Then all of a sudden I got fired, and even though I was jobless, I felt such a peace within me. Then an a position opened up at a place where I used to intern. Let me tell you, they NEVER have openings. So when they did, I applied & look at me now, I AM SO HAPPY! It was such a blessing in disguise. Another example; I've been wanting to go to New York badly since last year. There were countless times where I found myself at the checkout page of Delta Airlines. Knowing that I should just wait I would quickly exit setting aside all my urges to go. Then out of the blue I (technically) get invited on a one week trip (I leave in 4 days!) where I don't even have to pay for a hotel! It was truly such a blessing!
I also learned the mistake rushing into things without waiting on God's clock. Just how it happened the Summer before Senior year of high school. I was so desperate to have a car. There was a friend who called and said his uncle's car had been towed and he did not have the money to take it out so was looking for someone to keep it. I anxiously offered to go look at it thinking my "first awesome car" was closer than ever! Isaac was nice enough to go with me that day, and when we got to the towing place it was said that I had to pay up front before I could even see the car, talk about throwing the dice! I conjured $600 and gave it to the clerk. The guy working the yard (who I so happened to go to school with) walked me through the junkyard of cars, some without wheels and some completely torn apart. We got to what seemed like a powder blue dream straight out of the early nineties. "Here it is". I looked around with disappointment scouring for hope within the torn interior and iron metal smell. "Thanks" i sorrowfully said. Let's just say I drove out of there not as excited as I had came in. Days later we were told that the owner lost the title and case in point I could not drive it. I ended up returning the car to my friend who gave me my 600$ back. (so it wasn't s a total loss).
Moral of the story, even though i had been praying for a car, I should have waited for things to fall into place for me instead of trying to do things my own way. I learned that when things do not easily fall into place or there are kinks along the way trying; it might not always be the right time. Obviously I am not encouraging to not take initiative and just lounge around life waiting for things to happen. No no no! Not at all! What I AM trying to say is that take into consideration God's timing and his plan. You will know if it is right. Pray about it, he will guide you. And ultimately
if it his plan, you will feel peace.
Not anxiety, like what I felt when I got that "first" car. Give it time and be patient. I guarantee he will not disappoint you.
The other day as I was cleaning my room, when things weren't going so perfect and I felt astray; I came across this note. I wrote it to myself a while back, while sitting in church listening to a sermon.It just spoke to me. It was so amazing. So timely and perfect. & even though at the time, it might not have seem like a big deal; When I rediscovered it, it was so encouraging it brought me to tears. It wasn't much what I wrote but the timing of me finding it. Hiding out behind my dresser. I am deciding to post it just in case any of this speaks to you (:
Thanks for listening to me ramble :)